voicemail | sirenspull

[youfartknocker]

Uh- hey, baby. You've, like, reached Butt-Head, the pleasure machine. Leave a picture of your thingies. Uh, huh huh huh. [ ayup ]

Comments

[tfln virus]

[asano_san]

Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.

fhadkfa voice call back X(

[youfartknocker]

Uh- thanks, dude. Uh, huh huh huh.

[asano_san]

You're welcome?

[youfartknocker]

Uh, huh huh huh. I, like, don't have a shower, but it'll make a good trap. Uh, huh huh huh.

[asano_san]

A good trap for what?

[He realizes after that there were probably more important questions to ask.]

[youfartknocker]

Uh- chicks, duh. Uh, huh huh huh. [ maybe joking ]

[asano_san]

You can make traps for that? [ Not really joking. ]

[youfartknocker]

Uh- yeah. Uh, huh huh huh.

[asano_san]

Don't the girls just yell a lot and kick and punch you?

[youfartknocker]

Uh- so? Uh, huh huh huh.

[asano_san]

So? What's the point of trying to trap a girl if she's just going to hurt you?

[youfartknocker]

Uh- it's called, like, stockholder's syndrome or something. Uh, huh huh huh. Dumb-ass.

[asano_san]

Is that the disease you get if someone kicks you in the face too many times?

[youfartknocker]

Uh- no, you get it from, like, being around somebody for a long time. Uh, huh huh huh. It's like an STD without, like, doing it. Uh, huh huh huh.

[asano_san]

If I'm going to get an STD, I want to at least get it from doing it!

[youfartknocker]

Uh- but it'll lead to you, like, doing it with the chick. Uh, huh huh huh.

[asano_san]

No it won't! It'll lead to burning when I pee!

[youfartknocker]

Uh- that sounds like a personal problem, dude. Uh, huh huh huh.

[asano_san]

You're the one who brought up STDs!

[youfartknocker]

Uh- you're the one, like, screaming about it. Uh, huh huh huh.

[asano_san]

Then I'll stop screaming to you about it!

[Hanging up! Dramatically!]

[TFLN virus]

[sonatasedge]

she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE

voice

[youfartknocker]

Uh- what's her number? Uh, huh huh huh.

voice

[sonatasedge]

[This again...] dunno. don't think she exists.

voice

[youfartknocker]

Uh- what?

voice

[sonatasedge]

The NV's acting up. I didn't send that message.

nv virus

[whippings]

you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza

voice forever

[youfartknocker]

Uh- I don't, like, have one. Uh, huh huh huh.

voice in return!

[whippings]

[Ugh, not this fool again.]

What do you want.

lol

[youfartknocker]

Uh- you, baby. Uh, huh huh huh.

[whippings]

Well, you can't have me. But if you don't stop harassing me, I might just have to whip that mouth of yours.

[youfartknocker]

Uh- whoa. Uh, huh huh huh. You're, like, one of those kinky girls. Uh, huh huh huh. Uh, huh huh huh.

[whippings]

Don't be preposterous. It's just a very efficient way to shut fools up. I've done it hundreds of times before and I will most certainly do it again!

[youfartknocker]

Uh, huh huh huh. Whip me, baby, I've been naughty. Uh, huh huh huh.

[whippings]

If you contact me again I will have you arrested. Understood?

[youfartknocker]

Uh... [ reading. is. hard. ] If... you... Uh, huh huh huh. Whatever.

[whippings]

[Yeah, ending this conversation! She considers just deleting all the messages, but decides to keep them for evidence.]

[tfln virus] | [Yesterday]

[duomaxwell]

think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes

ffffffff voice to text on his end

[youfartknocker]

Uh okay baby.

perma voice Duo is so confused

[duomaxwell]

... what?

as he should be

[youfartknocker]

Uh you're a dude. Uh uh uh uh.

ohlord...

[duomaxwell]

... yeah. I'm a dude.

c:

[youfartknocker]

Uh- then why'd you text me that? Uh, huh huh huh. I'm, like, not interested in dudes. Uh, huh huh huh.

this can only end badly

[duomaxwell]

I didn't text you anything!